Updated: Sep 19
Zoom. Our new normal thing. The new word on the lips of society (along with 'furlough', 'lockdown' and 'social distancing').
It's hard to believe that a couple of months ago zoom was not really part of our vocabulary, unless we were trying to find an effective word to describe something moving extremely quickly.
Now we are constantly Zooming. It's depressing AF while simultaneously wonderful.
It's bizarrely reducing and increasing my insecurities at the same time. I'm looking at and examining my face more than ever before (a lot - I have always taken lots of selfies and spent many hours pouting in mirrors), I'm becoming acutely aware of my flaws, fidgets, my weird and quite frankly ugly facial expressions. My increase of chins depending on the angle. The contrast of my glowing or blotchy skin depending on the lighting.
On the other hand, I'm attending meetings daily without even brushing my hair. I have a little greasy nest on my head. No one cares. I wear pyjama bottoms, jogging pants, odd socks, no bra, ever. We could all be wearing nothing from the waist down and no one would even notice. Sometimes I get warm freshly baked biscuits delivered to me by my (slaves) during the meeting and I don't have to share them with anyone.
The conversations are weirdly natural, although interrupting is awkward and obvious. Suddenly, everyone goes quiet. If a connection is dodgy, it's hard to tell if the other attendees are motionless because they are so intently listening, or whether their screen has simply stuck. There's less conversation 'fluff' than in the olden days. People just want to get in and get out. Zoom saves time. But there's more meetings than ever, because they are just so easy to organise!
It takes 30 seconds to get to the meetings and no one cares if you smell. In fact, you're free to be as smelly and as badly dressed as you like. Shoes don't match your outfit? Who cares, no one even wears shoes these days. Just big, soft, fluffy slippers.
Zoom is over, but we don't have to commute home for tea. We shuffle out of the door and we roll down the stairs.
And that leads me to the question, are you liberating us Zoom? Or just leading us further into a poisonous pit of screens, vanity, insecurities and inept social skills? Who knows and who really cares...? Not me. I'm just going to stick my head in the fridge for the 39th time this morning before the next meeting begins.